Unfortunately I am in an extremely ambigu- 
ous and difficult position. Everything I write, unless it is to 
appear in “some small publication with limited appeal,”is sub- 
ject to a censorship which can drag out as long as two or three 
months, and then all sorts of trivial objections are raised to 
everything that is not purely a matter of pious homilies for the 
sisters on how to arrange the veil during meditation.
The other possibility is that by being “pessimistic”and look- 
ing at the dark side, pointing to the evil, Iam only helping the 
process of evil along by collaborating with it,getting people used 
to it in some new way,perhaps even my pessimism equals a kind 
of acceptance of the worst disasters as a foregone conclusion 
when there is still a clear way out. All these questions float 
about in my mind, but my personal conviction is that when 
everybody else in my Church (except the Popes who have after 
all spoken quite clearly condemning nuclear annihilation bomb- 
ing) seems to want to stay silent and perplexed, or worse still 
Cold War Letters 17 

encourages nuclear war as the “lesser evil,”it has become my 
clear duty to speak out against this crime and to denounce the 
steps taken to perpetuate it, while refusing all cooperation and 
trying to get others to do the same.If there is anything positive 
Ican do,I wish I knew what it is.Any suggestions you have will 
always be welcome. 
The poem of [Yevgeny] Yevtushenko [“Babi Yar”] moved me 
very deeply.6 Ihave already come in contact with him, and this 
poem represents a distinct growth.COLDWARM.QXD  20/9/06  10:40 AM  Page 18

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