Go to a mechanic. Your steering's off.
    This parking job violates the law. Of physics.
    Did you park like this or was there an earthquake?
    Couldn't decide which space to park in, huh?
    Your car isn't nice enough to park in two spots.
    I used to park like this. Then I turned 6.
    Is your name Katrina? Because this parking job's a disaster.
    I would've flipped you the bird, but this fits my mousey personality 
much better.
    If parking were a game of Chess, you'd lose.
    You're a space hog.
    Did you park this or land this?
    Maybe a GPS system could've helped you find the middle of this parking 
spot.
    It was either this, or put a crowbar through your window.
    The way you pulled in makes me wish your dad would've pulled out.
    Didn't know it was "National Let Your Child Drive You to Work Day."
    Double parking hints at something deeper.
    Parking isn't your thing. Stick to drive-thrus.
    Hope you're better between the sheets than you are between the lines.
    Apparently you have boundary issues.
    Aliens searching for intelligent life would see your parking job and 
leave.